Summer mom guilt

I have worked every summer of Sprout's life.  Every summer I face the guilt that I should be the one at home with her and not the nannies, sitters and daycare that we have had in the past.  Don't get me wrong they have all been great people and I am thankful to have them all.  Sprout has had fun with all of them and has been taken care of well.  I just would have liked to be the one at home with her.  It's getting harder and harder knowing she's growing up so fast and the number of summers left with her are getting smaller and smaller.

In the past I was the majority of the income for our house because what I do pays pretty well.  Slowly that is changing, but for the farm to be able to expand I need to work until our current house is paid off.  Most of my vacation time is spent for fair week and Christmas.  Christmas is the time she and I bake and decorate and spend good quality time together.  I take her whole break off.  There is usually a sleep over with friends and loads of family around.  But summer is the most difficult for me.  Sprout is working animals and I try to get my landscaping and gardening done, but with swimming added this year I'm not sure how much I'm going to get done.  I'm just hoping to keep the weeds cleaned out.

I think this is when my stress is highest too.  Often Sprout is with more than one person in a day depending on her training schedule.  When she's in school at least I know she's in one place and somehow that is comforting to me.  Summer is crazy and there is always the chance that an accident can happen with her livestock.  I know me being there wouldn't change it.  This is when I have to just pray and trust that God is in control.  I pray on the way to work and I'm adding the nannies, etc. to my list.  I have faith that God will keep her safe.

Swimming swimming and livestock work

Sprout has made a bit of a break through with her swimming.  Her back stroke form has really improved and it seems like she's really flying through the water.  Her breast stroke has also improved quite a bit.  It's amazing at how much she's improved just since April when the long course for club swim started.  She's excited to get in the water most days and is really listening to the coach's suggestions.  Her freestyle hasn't had that break through yet, but it's coming.  She just needs to get the confidence to not roll so much on her side to take a breath and that will speed her up tremendously.  Diving off the blocks is still a bit rocky too.  He won't move her up groups until she can come off the blocks with better form.  It's totally a confidence thing.  She doesn't want to belly flop so she's hoping off the block instead of diving off.  I get it, but as I told her she's going to belly flop for a while until she gets the hang of it and then it will be less often.  

Sprout got out her dairy cow yesterday with Nanny2 for its first work and she did great. They are concentrating on just getting her to walk nicely.  As time goes on they will start setting her.  The steer just wouldn't cooperate and let them catch him.  He's gotten quite big so they have to be careful.  He's going to have to be tied up more to start calming him down.  It's a training method that is often used to settle cattle.  They are tied to a post and they can move some and get to water, but they are generally tied to where they stand or lay in one place.  It seems to mellow them for some strange reason.  Hopefully they will work sheep or pigs today too.  Nanny1 will be coming tomorrow and she will definitely get the steer tied up.  She could get him to do things last year so he probably will respond to her quite well.  

Last night I ran around and got feed paid for and picked up so there wasn't time when I got home to walk sheep.  If it's not raining tonight, we should have time to walk at least one sheep before swimming.  I'm ready for the rain to stop for just a little while.  

Summer is coming

Sprout has 1 more day of school left and she's ready, but not ready.  Summers can be hard on only kids that live in the country.  It's easier since she's in 4H there are still meetings and livestock to work.  We have a couple of part time nannies that will be working livestock with her and she will be going to a daycare occasionally.  This year she will be swimming several evenings a week as well as 4H camp and volleyball day camp.  Her schedule is full, but not too full.  We have a pool and she gets breaks in training for them all to swim and play.  I'm a bit worried there's too much scheduled at this point.  I like for summers to be more relaxed and let her actually play since the school year is usually so hectic for her.  We are blessed to be able to afford the nannies and for her to be at home since I can't be. 

Part of the reason I still work is simply that farming is expensive and we can't afford a house payment and ground payment to expand the farm.  God is blessing us and we are quickly paying off the house and we are truly grateful, but it does come with trade offs.  Also we currently send Sprout to a private christian school.  FarmBoy and I want her to have a strong faith foundation before we move her to public school.  We have a timeline for that and so far she's okay with it. 

Summer is always my most guilty time as a working mother and I struggle so hard with it.  I know it's just not possible right now, but it's still hard that someone else gets to play with her and I don't.  I do have quite a bit of vacation, but here's how most of it is used.  One week is taken off for fair.  It's too exhausting not to take the whole week.  Two weeks are taken at Christmas.  It's hard to find a sitter for this time of the year and Sprout really like me being home to bake cookies and watch Christmas movies, etc.  I love decorating our house and she usually has friends sleep over for a night.  That leaves a few days for sickness, etc.  I work from 7 am to 4 pm as my regular schedule so that I can get to school activities but I won't change this summer because swimming.  It's hard to get up and get moving that earlier, but it's so worth it in the end to be home early.

Rain rain go away.....

I know the weather across the nation has been a bit strange, but I'm so tired of rain.  I have to trust that God has this in his control, but if it doesn't stop soon we are never going to get our crop in.  Last night was the first time I heard him actually question what we were going to do.  We are by far not alone in this struggle.  I pray for our neighbors, ourselves and all those out there struggling with the strange weather this year.  It's difficult not to have a pity party some days especially when it's cold and rainy.  We've had rough years, but this is different. 

In all of this I have to remember that God is for us and not against and somehow this will work out.  It just really difficult right now in this valley.  I'm ready for sun and warm weather.  I want to plant flowers and have FarmBoy not be quite so stressed.  Life is always hectic since we both work, but this is over the top right now.  The equipment is ready and days off of work are waiting, but just when it seems we are seeing light the storms come again.  I have been trying to plan a yard sale, but that's on hold as well. 

It the waiting that is hard and I find that is true for all things in life.  It's God's time and not mine and sometimes that's hard to understand and accept.  It's in these times I just keep praying and trying to be patient, but it is not easy.

The struggle is real

I'll admit I don't know the feeding plan that Sprout and FarmBoy have going in the barn.  We have cats to keep the mice down and I'm allergic so I really try to stay out of the barn most days.  Sprout is still learning when to increase feed and not always doing it successfully.  I tend to cut her more slack than FarmBoy, but lately I have determined I can't be doing that.  The weather is slowly starting to warm here and we don't have all the pens plumbed yet with automatic water troughs.  It's coming, but we just got all the pens rearranged to bring the feeder calf home.  Sprout sometimes is a bit tired from swim practice and just forgets to top things off.  FarmBoy checks when he gets in from his shift and then gets grumpy.   I'm going to create a simple check list and laminate it for her to take to the barn and then bring back to me when all is done.  If she checks it off and didn't do it then the phone and tablet will be taken away for a few days.  That seems to make the biggest impact. 

There are separate pens for the pigs, big cows, the feeder calf, and 2 different pens for the sheep since the lambs aren't weaned yet.  The big sheep could hurt them so we keep them separate with their momma.  Sprout also is supposed to feed and water the dog and cats that live in the barn.  The dog is new and not in with the sheep yet, but will be soon so food will be an issue, but not water.  This will all get easier when school is out.  She will feed and water before swim and then just check on them when we get home.  Right now I pick her up from school there is not enough time to go home and feed before she's supposed to be at swimming. 

It's just one more area that I need to be organized to cover while he's working.  The struggle to get and keep myself organized is real. 

Last week of school

Well it's finally the last week of school.  All major testing and projects are done.  This week should be a few minor tests and cleaning out of lockers, etc.  Sprout is ready to be out and working with animals and relaxing some.  The pool at home is not open, but hopefully will be soon.  The weather here just has not been cooperating at all.    Our pool is not heated and since we didn't get the cover on it last year we are probably going to drain it and clean it and then refill it.  It would cost less in chemicals in the long run to do this.

Friday she really didn't want to go to swim practice, but since she's only been once up to that point and we wouldn't be able to on Saturday I said she should go and she agreed.  It was a good move.  She was the only one in her group so basically she got a private lesson.  She's been having timing issues with her breast stroke and that is almost all evened out.  She improved enough the coach is talking about 200 IM for her now.  That is what she is shooting for in her training now.  Not bad for this being her first year swimming on a club team.  She was so happy at the end of practice.  It was nice to see her improvement in just that short time.  We talked and decided Fridays will always be a swim day since people often take off for the weekend a little early and there might be more opportunities to work one on one with her coach. 

There are two groups that swim when she does so they don't cancel practice and sometimes they combine, but not last Friday.  Even if they combine the groups the second group is one higher than she is in so it pushes her a little harder and that's good too. 

I'm looking forward to Friday since it's officially the last day of school and I took a vacation day!!!  My plan is to over the weekend deep clean my kitchen and send the kid off with Pappaw to get her leather craft kit. 

Lamb camp

This weekend we will be going to lamb camp as a family.  It happens to fall on FarmBoy's off weekend so Saturday we will be loading up and heading to camp.  If your state or county doesn't have one of these it is worth while trying to start one for your sheep project members.  Since our county doesn't currently have one we are going over one county to another camp.  There is a fee, but that usually covers entry in and sometimes lunch.  It is a one day event that I will be packing chairs and a cooler for us to have drinks.  A meal is included in this camp, but I always pack a few snacks as well.

Here are the basics of lamb camp.  Sprout will be taking the lamb right now that needs the most work.  There are several stations set up and she will travel between the stations.  There is a station to help them learn to shear, one to help them get the lamb walking correctly, one for the 4Her to learn to set them in the correct show position, etc.  The number of stations does depend on the camp.  They will spend quite a bit of time walking and setting them.  We hope by the time we leave to have one well on his way to being ready to show.  Once we get one that way the others tend to copy some of what the more behaved one is doing.   Sprout will also be fresh off of the camp and can apply some of the refreshed skills to the others as she starts to work them more regularly.  

This particular camp is held only every other year so last year we were on our own and did okay, but I really think she needs a refresher this year.  Also last year we showed mostly yearling ewes that were already loosely trained so it wasn't so difficult as brand new lambs.  In the past we have sheared for her because the clippers were simply just to heavy for her to do much and we didn't want the lamb injured.  She has grown quite a bit this last year so it's time for her to start to learn to shear.   We are hoping she can at least do the rough cut this year and then FarmBoy or myself can do the finish cut.  Eventually the goal is for her to be able to do it all herself, but that just takes time and training.

For me it refreshes my skills as well.  I like to work sheep with her just because they are one of my favorites of what she shows.  It also gives me a good perspective on why God calls us sheep.  They are really a loving animal.  One of our breeding ewes Reese loves to have her face scratched and tries to get to me when I come out to the barn.  They must live in community ( more than one ) or they suffer stress and can get sick easily.  They follow each other pretty much all the time.  There are many more examples I can give, but they have a soft spot in my heart.  For me it's not hard to see God everyday around me especially when we work with the animals on our farm.

What we show in 4H

This year Sprout is showing a steer, a feeder calf, a dairy heifer, several sheep and a couple of swine.  The steer was a feeder calf last year so he has been shown once and is mostly trained.  During school it is a bit hard to get training fitted in with sports and school projects.  As Sprout ages I think she will be able to do more over the off season, but for now her schedule and bedtime just doesn't allow for much training over the winter.  We are in the process of pushing his feed a little more to get him to fill out his muscle and frame to be mature by the time fair is here.  This is partially what the judges look for when showing the animal. 

The feeder calf was born this year in January sometime and is pretty mellow.  He was bottle fed so he is used to being handled.  This make training so much easier since he is used to people directing his movements to feed.  He must be less than 600 pounds by the fair or he cannot show in the feeder calf group.  So we will be feeding good quality food, but not really pushing him to fill out.  Beginning 4Hers, in my opinion, should start with a feeder calf.  They are smaller and give the young 4Her confidence in their showing techniques.  600 pounds is a whole lot easier than 1500 to 1600 pounds of a steer.  The added benefit is that the animal is already used to the 4Her in the second year when they are larger. 

The dairy heifer was an unexpected entry this year.  We haven't shown dairy before so it's going to be a learning curve for Sprout.  The cow was a feeder calf last year.  It was a last minute substitution for the loss of a calf.  I was reluctant to keep her, but she really is a pretty cow.  Dairy show style and beef show style are very different so Sprout will be increasing her show knowledge this year.  In short beef show style is to walk with the cow at your shoulder into the show ring and dairy is to lead the cow walking backwards into the show ring.  There are some other subtle differences, but this is the major difference.  Also the 4Her wears western wear for beef and all white for dairy.  I heard all the mom groan at that last one.  Yes it's difficult to keep them clean and I will be planning at least 3 total changes of clothes for show day.

Currently she has three sheep registered for the fair, but my guess is that only two will actually go.  We over register sheep because they have a tendency to get sick easily.  Having three will usually ensure that at least one will be able to show.  We do a rough clip around a week before the fair and final clip at the fair.  Sheep are shown without a halter keeping the the head up and the back level.  It's definitely something that must be practiced loads at home.

Swine or pigs are probably my least favorite, but probably FarmBoy's favorite.  We have two different breeds and depending on how they fill out we might take both or we might only take one.  Showing, I always say, is just controlled chaos.  In training you walk them and get them used to turning as you tap their shoulders, but there really isn't much else to it.  The 4Her must be aware of the judge's position and be on the opposite side of the pig.  The goal is for the judge to see the pig and not the 4Her.  Swine love marshmallows and you can get them to do just about anything for one so we use it in training quite a bit.  A marshmallow on the end of a stick waived in front of their nose will get them to move almost every time.

There are tons of tips and tricks we use on each species that we had to either learn the hard way or had some other kind 4Hers teach us.  As we get into training this year I'll try to pass along a few more of them.

Calendars, calendars, calendars.

Okay I'm a bit old school in that I like paper books, paper magazines and paper calendars.  That's great until you start keeping track of FarmBoy's schedule ( he works a 4 on and 4 off swing shift ), Sprout's schedule, and my own schedule.  Sometimes I take Sprout to things and sometimes he takes her to things so as much as I like a paper calendar I had to start using a digital one.

Here's how I keep my sanity, google calendar and everyone has their own color.  FarmBoy shows as blue, Sprout is pink and I'm green.  FarmBoy's calendar is linked to mine, but I have permission to add and change his if I need to and he can add and change mine.  I think technically I own Sprout's, but he can add and change on it as well.  This makes it so easy to schedule doctors appointments, 4H meetings, shows, etc. and it keeps track of his shift days.  Because it's color coded it's easy to see who it belongs to and who is available to cover.  It has saved me many times over having this information available on my phone.  At sometime in the past I put in all the family birthdays that I could find/remember so that we both could see them.  I then can send him a reminder if he needs to schedule/call one of his family members and he can get a general idea if we are going to be doing something for my side. 

But I have to admit that I still have a paper calendar.  There's just something about my calendar that I love.  I usually jot things in it first and then add them to the digital later because it takes me forever it seems to type things and I hate holding people up while I figure out how to get it in my phone.  Right now I'm using a happy planner and so far I really like it.  I need to get a refill soon since it's one that follows a school year plan and not a January to December traditional schedule.  I think I found this one on sale and just thought I'd give it a try.  So far I really like it.

I'm finding the more organized I am the less I stress.  It helps us plan better as a couple and doesn't put it all on me to let him know what is going on and if I need for him to take her to things.  Now all this somewhat gets thrown out of the window if it's planting or harvest season.  He tries to help when he can, but when the weather is right the weather is right and he's in the fields no matter what is going on anywhere else in our life.  In that case I just have to keep reminding myself to everything there is a season and roll with it.  Somehow God gets me through and I am grateful. 

Tracking life for my kid!

Over the years I've started and stopped blogs.  I don't think I really had my heart in it to keep one going.  I made up my mind that I needed to keep track of things for Sprout's ( my dear daughter ) sake.  She is in her 3rd year of 4H and just started club swimming.  FarmBoy ( my wonderful husband ) works a full time shift job and farms our small farm.  I for now am a full time programmer and hold down the house as well as make sure Sprout gets to the pool and meetings.  We have a couple of wonderful folks who part time nanny and who will be helping with animal training this summer.   Our life is full and crazy as we try to make sure everything gets done and we don't lose our minds in the process.  I'm going to try to post the important things and lists that I live by to make sure we don't forget things and that keep my sanity and so I can try to use them from year to year.

4H differs from county to county and state to state.  We are from Indiana and show in Boone County so most of my references revolve around here locally.  FarmBoy is hoping that Sprout does a few shows locally this year for each of her animals so I might mention a few of those as well.

Sprout is also in a USA Swim club locally and meets could be anywhere in Indiana, but we usually only go to the local ones.  Swim comes after 4H right now because that is Sprout's preference.  It could change as she ages, but for now swimming is good exercise for her and she seems to enjoy it so we roll with it.  She could swim 5 afternoons a week and Saturday morning, but she has chosen not to be that strict right now with school still in session.  I don't want her to burn out so she doesn't swim on Wednesday nights, Saturday morning or nights that have a 4H meeting.  Loads of my nieces and nephews have swam so she has been around this for most of her life.  In fact the older ones that are out of school are slowly gifting her equipment like shammies, goggle cords and swim caps.  I'm sure there will be more as she gets to that point in her skill level.

Let me give a little background to how I got to here.  Sprout was born when I was an older mom.  I have folks I went to school with who have grandkids that aren't that much younger than my kid.  I was in 4H in my past but only did paper projects and cooking, etc.  I didn't show livestock at all.  My husband did do horse contesting, but not really livestock showing either.  He grew up on a family farm and was around livestock most of his life.  Sprout loves animals and it just seemed a natural fit for her to do 4H.  We have other friends who kids show so we thought let's try it for a year and see if she likes it and here we are 3 years later still going strong.  I've learned how to walk and shear sheep, walk and clip pigs, and how to handle a show stick and a steer.  If you'd have told me that I'd be doing any of this I'd have laughed at you.  It's not that I'm afraid of large animals I just didn't think it was my thing.  I find I really like handling sheep the best.  I might even open show one this year.

Well this is enough for now, but keep reading and I'll be talking more about what I do to prepare for a show and what FarmBoy and Sprout do to prepare for a show.  We all have our job and they are very different.