Summer mom guilt

I have worked every summer of Sprout's life.  Every summer I face the guilt that I should be the one at home with her and not the nannies, sitters and daycare that we have had in the past.  Don't get me wrong they have all been great people and I am thankful to have them all.  Sprout has had fun with all of them and has been taken care of well.  I just would have liked to be the one at home with her.  It's getting harder and harder knowing she's growing up so fast and the number of summers left with her are getting smaller and smaller.

In the past I was the majority of the income for our house because what I do pays pretty well.  Slowly that is changing, but for the farm to be able to expand I need to work until our current house is paid off.  Most of my vacation time is spent for fair week and Christmas.  Christmas is the time she and I bake and decorate and spend good quality time together.  I take her whole break off.  There is usually a sleep over with friends and loads of family around.  But summer is the most difficult for me.  Sprout is working animals and I try to get my landscaping and gardening done, but with swimming added this year I'm not sure how much I'm going to get done.  I'm just hoping to keep the weeds cleaned out.

I think this is when my stress is highest too.  Often Sprout is with more than one person in a day depending on her training schedule.  When she's in school at least I know she's in one place and somehow that is comforting to me.  Summer is crazy and there is always the chance that an accident can happen with her livestock.  I know me being there wouldn't change it.  This is when I have to just pray and trust that God is in control.  I pray on the way to work and I'm adding the nannies, etc. to my list.  I have faith that God will keep her safe.